You Need Courage

"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago."

― Alan Watts

You Don't Need Permission. You Need Courage.

You are standing on the edge of a decision. You can feel it in your bones. It is the decision to start the business, to leave the city, to end the relationship, to finally pursue the art you have hidden away. You have all the information you need. You know the first step. Yet you are frozen, looking over your shoulder.

Who are you looking for?

You are waiting for someone to give you permission to live your own life. You are waiting for a nod of approval from your parents. You are waiting for your partner’s blessing. You are waiting for your boss to say it is a good idea. You are waiting for a sign from society that your choice is safe and most important, acceptable.

I have to tell you the hard truth. No one is coming. There is no permission slip on its way. There is no committee that will convene to approve your choices. No one is going to save you from the terrifying and beautiful responsibility of your own freedom.

You have been waiting for that permission slip and it was never going to be written, especially from a person who was never qualified to sign it.

The Permission Myth

Why are we so desperate for this external validation? The pattern is set in childhood. As children, we must seek permission to survive. We ask to cross the street, to eat the unknown berry, to stay out after dark. It is a healthy survival mechanism that we are supposed to outgrow.

But most of us never do. We carry this dynamic into our adult lives, still acting like children asking a parent if our choices are okay. We outsource the authority over our own lives to others.

Think of the absurdity of this. You are the sovereign ruler of your own life. You have a kingdom of one. Yet you spend your days sending messengers to other kingdoms, asking if it is okay for you to make a ruling in your own land. It is a complete abdication of your power. And if you need someone else’s permission to start, you will forever be dependent on their approval to continue. You are making them the gatekeeper to your own future.

The Gatekeepers You've Appointed

Let’s be honest about who you are asking. The very people you seek permission from are often the least objective and most invested in you staying exactly as you are.

Your Parents: They love you, but their advice is almost always filtered through their own fears. Their primary instinct is to keep you safe and secure, which is often the direct opposite of the bold, risky leap your soul is crying out for.

Your Partner: Your life is deeply intertwined with theirs. Your decision to quit your job and start a business directly impacts their sense of security. They have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo. They are not a neutral party.

Your Boss: Asking your boss for permission to pursue a dream that might lead you away from your current role is like asking a zookeeper for the keys to the cage. Their entire job is to keep you right where you are.

Society: And what is "society"? It is a vague collection of other people who are also desperately seeking permission from each other. Society rewards conformity. It praises the predictable path. It is a hall of mirrors reflecting the same fears back and forth. It has no interest in your unique, authentic, and courageous life.

The Standard of Courage

You do not need permission. You need courage. And courage is not the absence of fear. It is the judgement that something else is more important than your fear.

Courage is not a magical quality bestowed upon a chosen few. It is a standard you require from yourself. It is a choice. It's the same as any muscle, if you work at it, it grows. It is the decision to be the cause of your own life, not just the effect of other people’s opinions.

The question you must stop asking is, “Will they approve? Will they let me?”

The question you must start asking is, “Am I brave enough?”

You must stop waiting for permission from the outside and start requiring courage from inside.

Your First Act of Sovereignty

Once again, this is not a hypothetical exercise. This is about taking your power back, starting today. Here is your work.

Step 1: Name Your Gatekeeper.

Who is it, really? Be honest with yourself. Whose approval are you waiting for before you make your move? Is it your father? Your best friend? Your spouse? Write their name down. Acknowledging this dynamic is the first step to dismantling it. Seeing the name on paper makes you realise how absurd it is that this one person holds the keys to your future.

Step 2: Write Your Own Permission Slip.

This is a powerful, symbolic act. Take a real piece of paper. At the top, write “PERMISSION SLIP”. Then write these words: “I, [Your Name], hereby give myself full and unconditional permission to [Your Goal]. I do this because it is important to me and aligned with the person I am becoming. The only approval I need is my own.” Now, sign it and date it. Put it in your wallet or on your mirror. This is your new founding document.

Step 3: Take One Unapproved Action.

Based on your new permission slip, what is one small thing you can do this week that you would normally seek approval for? Do not announce it. Do not ask for opinions. Just do it. It could be using an evening to do research for your project instead of watching the show your partner expects you to. It could be buying the domain name for your business idea. It is a small, quiet act of rebellion against your old pattern. It is your first act as a sovereign ruler.

The throne of your life is sitting empty. You have been waiting for someone else to come and tell you what to do. Stop waiting. Your crown is waiting. It is time to pick it up and place it on your own head.